Happy Times

So, it has been a while since I last blogged. I partly blamed this on hectic April--spring break, course work, life--and partly I blamed it on writer's block. It has come to my attention that, mostly, I have had little to whine about lately.

Of course, it is difficult to be happy with everything in one's life. Frankly, I think it must be impossible. But this past month has made me realise that if you focus on the good things that do go on in your life, and you work for them, chances are those small bursts of happiness will make up for a lot of other shit. Why force oneself to keep working towards, or for, something that we find unpleasant? Why not rechannel those efforts and energy to accomplish things that we know will give us satisfaction? If not all aspects of our existence can be perfected, at least let's perfect those that are already quite rewarding. Then, once we get really good at that one particular thing, we can move on, and start working on something else. Hey, I never said it was an easy or quick procedure...but what I learnt in April is that we have to wait. Waiting, which I have discovered, is not a passive act.

You see, waiting is rewarding. Personally, it has made me realise what defects I would like to abandon, and what qualities I most certainly want to hang on to. It taught me that focusing on the positive does not mean forgetting about the negative--it just means getting yourself through it. Because, you see, the better the things you're good at get, the more motivated you become to emerge from your pity pool and meet the bright world above you. And the bad things start to paint the backdrop upon which you survive, day by day, through your achievements.

I have done a lot this semester, things that weren't even on my radar a couple of months ago. Sure, not everything else is 100% great: as some of you may know, I've made a resolution not to cut my hair until I fall in love again. As most of you might have noticed, my hair is getting pretty long. I still would like those skinny jeans to fit again, and I wish I were better at countless other things I still think need improvement in my life. But I've also achieved a lot lately, and, for now it suffices; happy times just remind us that improvement can only come from oneself. And then, all the threads that make up the fabric of our lives just get tighter and tighter, until they are pulling us together, and we can release them, because they don't need to be clutched or tightened any longer. Let's work towards integrity. Or let's just simply work towards and not against. That's my little sermon of the year.